Knott’s Scary Farm- Tricks, Treats, and Halloween Scares

Official Knott’s Scary Farm promotional photo

Knott’s Scary Farm is always one of the top haunts on the AHH list, and the 2017 season did not disappoint. This year’s Scary Farm offered guests two new mazes, an updated Trick or Treat, and the final Elvira: Mistress of the Dark show. In addition to the new attractions, attendees were given the opportunity to revisit classic attractions from previous years. Ok, let’s take this step by step, maze by maze.

THE MAZES

Dark Ride– Dark Ride was one of the two new mazes. This was my 2nd favorite maze. The theme is pretty straight forward. It’s modeled after an old carnival dark ride. In my opinion, this was an excellent theme choice. It’s something that seems obvious, but I haven’t seen almost anyone else try this concept. I loved almost everything about this it. It had colors, glowing elements, and mechanical wizards. You name it, it was probably in Dark Ride. This maze gave off a deep appreciation for the theme parks and rides of the past. It reminded me of everything I loved about going through the haunted house at the state fair.

Pumpkin Eater– Pumpkin Eater was the other new maze for 2017. Like Dark Ride, Pumpkin Eater appealed to my nostalgia. If Dark Ride was an ode to theme parks of the past, Pumpkin Eater served as an ode to Halloweens of the past. I loved all of the jack o’ lantern motifs and the many different textures within the maze. There were so many wonderful classic Halloween elements. It was a delight being able to walk through the inside of a pumpkin right into a corn maze. If I had one complaint about Pumpkin Eater, it’s that I didn’t completely understand the story they were trying to convey. However, overall the maze was a win.

Photo by Andy Shultz

Trick or Treat: Lights Out– I don’t have much to say about Trick or Treat. It was kind of fun being able to walk through the maze with a flashlight, but I liked the previous year’s maze better. I have to agree with my friend who felt that making everything so dark rendered all the creative details  insignificant.

Red Barn– This maze has consistently been my least favorite. I don’t hate it. In fact, I quite like the giant diseased horse. Still, the whole cannibal farm theme feels a bit uninspired.

Shadowlands– From my least favorite to my most favorite. Shadowlands is once again my number one. A big part of that is the Japanese theme. I have a strong interest in Japanese culture, particularly J-horror. I noticed a lot of cool stuff about Shadowlands. For example many of the classic youkai like Rokurokubi, (a very, very long necked woman) could be found within the maze. I definitely appreciated the designer’s commitment to historical accuracy.

Tooth Fairy– Tooth Fairy is another Knott’s staple. This maze is like your wort dentist trip times ten. Like Pumpkin Eater, Tooth Fairy has some wonderful textures. I particularly liked the walls that are made to look like gums. While I wouldn’t call Tooth Fairy one of my favorites, it’s absolutely worth checking out.

The AHH Team- Photo by Brandon Scullion

Voodoo– Voodoo is another maze that stands out for me. I like these mazes with a heavy cultural aspect, and Voodoo provided it in spades. The maze guided you through all of the types of places associated with Louisiana voodoo. One highlight from this maze is the scene of a mechanical alligator being served a living man as a sacrifice.

Paranormal Inc.- The maze Paranormal Inc. is what occurs when an episode of Ghost Adventures goes terribly wrong. Like Dark Ride, Paranormal Inc. is so enjoyable because it contains many campy elements such as glowing lights and vibrating floors.

Special Ops: Infected– I’ll be honest, I didn’t have the opportunity to try this real life zombie shooting game.

THE SCARE ZONES

Fiesta de los Muertos– Once again, Fiesta de los Muertos provided all of the bright hues and sugar skulls associated with Mexico’s Day of the Dead.

CarnEvil– I’m obsessed with anything circus or carnival themed, but even I think clowns are getting a bit overdone. For that reason, I wasn’t too excited about this scare zone.

The Hollow– The classic “Halloween” aesthetic pairs perfectly with the new maze, Pumpkin Eater. I liked this scare zone, because it contained some unique light up tree trunk props.

Ghost Town Streets– This was my favorite scare zone, because it had the best monsters. This was also probably the foggiest part of the park, and I love fog.

Official Knott’s Scary Farm promotional photo

THE SHOWS

The Hanging– I didn’t care for The Hanging. The stunts were exceptional, but the show was way too frantic. The writing felt like it was trying to cram the top 100 pop culture moments of the year into about 30 minutes. I can see why people might enjoy it, but it wasn’t for me.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark– I couldn’t think of a better sendoff to the “Queen of Halloween”. Elvira was as vivacious as ever, and her dancers were equally impressive. The show had some priceless moments like Elvira recreating that famous Flashdance sequence. I was so happy I got to see her final show at Knott’s.

Overall, my Knott’s experience was well worth the price of admission. Knott’s has been one of the few attractions that I feel is consistently outdoing themselves. I always tell those who are short on money/time and want the best Halloween experience for their dollar to go to Knott’s Scary Farm. That advice still stands.

If you like our content, please follow us on Twitter @HallowsHaunts and right here on the blog.

Midsummer Scream 2018 Announced

Just when you thought Halloween couldn’t get any better, it did! For the second year in a row, we all woke up Halloween morning to an awesome surprise as Midsummer Scream, the leading Halloween festival, announced their 2018 show dates!

Midsummer Scream will return for third consecutive year to the Long Beach Convention Center July 28th and July 29th.

For those unfamiliar with Midsummer Scream, it’s a two day festival dedicated to all things Halloween, where all the major theme parks make their announcements for Haunt season, Haunts set up demonstrations, vendors from all over the country sell the spookiest products and much, much more.

All Hallows’ Haunts has had the privilege of attending the last two years and we can’t wait for this July to return! Midsummer Scream has proven itself to not just be the best Halloween convention, but the best overall convention (even better than Comic Con. Yeah, we said it!).

As we get closer to July, be sure to follow us here and on Twitter (@HallowsHaunts) for more information on Midsummer Scream and other Halloween and Haunt events in Southern California.

(Image by Midsummer Scream)

10 Great Overlooked Halloween Movies

Halloween is the best time of year. One of the best ways to celebrate the best time of year is to watch Halloween movies. There are of course a limitless amount of films you could watch. However, many online lists seem to only acknowledge the usual suspects. I totally support watching John Carpenter’s Halloween or Hocus Pocus a few thousand times. Still, there are many other seasonal movies out there that deserve a view. I put together a list to spotlight a few of those hidden gems. My only criteria is that Halloween/Autumn must play a major role in the film. Ok, with that out of the way, let’s get to it.

WNUF Halloween Special

The WNUF Halloween Special is one of the most charming films on this list. This found-footage treasure is designed to mimic a late 80s live news broadcast. The film takes place on Halloween. It follows a reporter and psychic duo that go to film inside an allegedly haunted house with a violent history. Needless to say things go wrong, very wrong. The best aspect of this film is that the filmmakers inserted faux commercials into the movie. If you’re feeling nostalgic for the VHS/cable years, give this film a go.

Hell House LLC

I’m surprised this one hasn’t been more popular. It has positive reviews, but still it seems to have slipped under the radar. The film opens with glitchy footage of a massacre unfolding at a haunted house attraction. From there, the film moves backwards showing the team dealing with strange occurrences while building the haunt of their dreams. I like this film, because it paints a solid picture of the amount of work and stress involved in running a haunt, even without the genuine paranormal happenings.

Boys in the Trees

If you follow me on Twitter, then you probably already know I’m a fan of this one. This Australian supernatural drama follows two teen boys reconnecting on Halloween night. Throughout the night the boys are forced to confront death and learn some very painful, very adult lessons. Like the works of Ray Bradbury, this film captures the beauty and sadness of Halloween.

Riding the Bullet

I think many people didn’t enjoy this one, but I’m a big fan. This Mick Garris film is an adaptation of a Stephen King story. It revolves around a suicidal artist forced to hitchhike on Halloween night to see his dying mother. During his trip he is pursued by a phantom driver, who wants him to choose between his own life and his mom’s. The film is set in 1969 and uses some of the best music of that era. In addition to the music, there is an uncanny quality to much of the imagery. Take for example, the school bus full of people in costumes on an otherwise empty road. It’s this poetic nature of Riding the Bullet that keeps me coming back over and over again.

The American Scream

The American Scream is a 2012 documentary about home haunts. The documentary details the experiences of three different families as they plan, build, and tear down their haunts. The film’s director, Michael Stephenson was the kid from Troll 2. He went on to direct Best Worst Movie, a documentary that explored the making of Troll 2. Like Best Worst Movie, The American Scream paints honest portraits of its subjects, warts and all. The film manages to be humorous, awkward, and endearing all at the same time.

Murder Party

This is a low budget, high enjoyment film. The plot follows a loser guy who finds a mysterious invitation to a Halloween “murder” party. He puts on his finest cardboard robot costume and heads to the address on the card. When he arrives he discovers a group of college students who wish to murder him in the name of art. This situation would be terrifying, except the group of wannabe creators are woefully incompetent. Having run in the “art school” crowd, I was amused by many of the character tropes in this movie. Combine the wacky cast with Halloween mischief, and this film is an all around win.

Satan’s Little Helper

When I first watched this movie, I thought it was going to be awful. I mean, the cover looks dreadful. However, it ended up being an excellent Halloween treat. This dark comedy involves a little boy with a sister complex that teams up with a serial killer to get rid of his sister’s boyfriend. The boy is a fan of a game called “Satan’s Little Helper”. In the game, you have to help Satan kill people to win. When he spots a guy dressed as the devil killing someone, he interprets it as fate and this is where their merry killing spree begins. This film is both wildly funny and twisted. If you’ve got a wicked sense of humor, this film should tickle your funny bone.

Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman & Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein

I included these two together, because I bought them in a double feature pack. Though only the Wolfman one seems to be set around Halloween. Anyway, these straight to video movies were meant to be homages to the Abbott and Costello Universal horror-comedies. While these films may have been marketed to kids, I think the adult fan will enjoy them even more. Both films contain plenty of references to the Universal monster movies . For example, Alvin believes his neighbor, Lawrence Talbot is a werewolf. If you like the Chipmunks, classic horror, or animation you need to see these movies.

Once Bitten

Most of the old Jim Carrey films seem to have long lifespans in the public consciousness. Yet Once Bitten was poorly received, so I almost never hear it mentioned. Yes it’s juvenile as hell, yet I personally find this film to be a lot of fun. It uses every vampire joke ever. However, those tired jokes feel right at home with Carrey’s exaggerated acting in this cheesy 80s romp. The best part of the film involves a dance off at a high school Halloween party. What more could you ask for?

I’ve Been Waiting For You

This movie is really hard to find. I mean, it was hard to even find an image from the film. It’s possible, but not easy. It’s a made for TV movie based on a Lois Duncan novel. The plot follows a teen girl that moves to a town in New England. The mystery begins when a stranger calls and tells her “I’ve been waiting for you.” From then on, she is buried neck deep in the town’s secrets. The film is set in Autumn and involves witchcraft and curses. If you’re a fan of Practical Magic or The Craft, you’ll probably like this movie too.

There you go. Ten great Halloween films that you might have missed. If you have more recommendations or you want to discuss my list, drop me a comment or hit me up on Twitter @HallowsHaunts.

Under the House

I didn’t crawl under the house

The damn thing fell on me

My broken toes peeking out

A wicked witch parody

 

Like The Fall of the House of Usher

Another woman screaming in the night

With clawing bloody fingers

Body adorned in white

 

Trapped beneath the weight

Of a fate just not worth living

Below the pale stars

Neither forthright nor forgiving

 

Those celestial dancers

Eyes appointed to preside

Over the Hell where we reside

 

From Gothic to suburban

The housewife with her bourbon

The gypsy in her turban

 

Even the devil is down here with me

He’s a fallen angel too, you see

 

He likes to whisper in my ear

“It’s not so bad down here”

“Close your eyes, my dear”

 

I find relief at his behest

Yes there is shade

There is rest

10 Lady Horror Villain Costumes to rock this Halloween.

Halloween is a great opportunity to dress like some of our favorite characters. While most of our horror icons, are dastardly lads, there are plenty of wicked ladies out there too. Maybe you’re a girl who’s bored with the whole female Freddy thing. Perhaps you’re a dude who’d like to get in on the whole gender-bending craze. Either way, here’s a list of costume concepts that will excite any horror fan!

1. Lola – The Loved Ones

When talking about psycho prom dates, Carrie is the queen supreme. Still, Lola from The Loved Ones is not a girl to take lightly. When she fails to obtain the attention of her high school crush, she sets up her own prom for just the two of them. Lola’s idea of prom includes torture and lobotomy, all with a little help from her daddy. For this costume just get a hot pink dress, a crown, a drill, and maybe some blood. Also this could make a cool couple’s costume, if your significant other wants to go as her date, Brent.

2. Esther- Orphan

She’s just an unloved orphan having difficulty adjusting to her new home, right? Wrong! In reality, Esther is a childlike adult with psychotic tendencies. Once she sets her eyes on her new father, it’s just a matter of getting rid of her other inconvenient family members. Dressing as Esther presents a range of options. The easiest Esther look requires an old school blue dress, pigtails, bows, and maybe some white tights.

3. Sadako- Ringu

A cursed videotape, a well, a vengeful ghost? Yep, we’re talking about Sadako from Ringu. Sadako is possibly the most well known onryo (vengeful ghost) in Japanese cinema. There are at least 6 books, and 7 movies existing in the Ringu universe. Over the course of time, Sadako’s history has become muddled. Still, her appearance has always remained the same. To rock Sadako’s look, you need a tattered white dress, long black hair, and the ability to crawl out of the television. I wish you luck with that last part.

4. Thomasin- The Witch

The 1600s were a tough time to be alive, especially when there’s witchery afoot. In The Witch, poor Thomasin and her family are banished to the woods. As their religious zealotry grows, so does the power of evil. A proper Thomasin outfit needs Puritan garments and a bonnet. To really make it clear who you are, find a stuffed black goat.

5. Mary – American Mary

Katharine Isabelle is something of a horror goddess, and Mary Mason is one of her best characters to date. For those who haven’t seen the film, Mary starts out as an on edge med student. Then she is raped as her professor’s party. Mary decides to put her surgical skills to work. She uses her medical capabilities to seek revenge on those that abused her, but can she stop at simple revenge? Mary’s outfit is easy to master. You just need a basic white top, black pencil skirt with tights, a pair of black heels, and a black vinyl apron. I’d also add a surgical mask,  some gloves, and some bloody surgical tools.

6. Baby Jane Hudson- Whatever Happened to Baby Jane

Bette Davis is my absolute favorite actress, because she just got better with age. Her finest work is Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Those of us who’ve seen the movie know that Baby Jane grew up to be a bitter alcoholic, who dominates her paralyzed sister. As the film goes on Jane becomes more and more delusional. Jane believes in all sincerity that she will become a Hollywood star again, and she’s willing to do whatever it takes to keep her dream alive. If you want to transform into Baby Jane Hudson, you’ll need a frilly light colored dress, red lipstick, messy curls, and a baby doll. It also helps if you walk around singing “I’ve Written a Letter to Daddy”.

7.  Nina – Black Swan

Like Baby Jane, Black Swan’s Nina cracks under the pressure of trying to be a star in a competitive field. Ballet is tough enough as it is. If you throw in an overbearing mother, a lecherous choreographer, some repressed sexual desires, and few hallucinations you get the absolute insanity that is Black Swan. To look like Nina as the Black Swan, wear a black tutu, tights, some ballet style shoes, a tiara, some dark makeup, and red contacts.

8.  The Female- Hellraiser Series

Huge Clive Barker fan? Are you a master at makeup? Maybe The Female is the right costume for you. The Female was a nun until she opened the box. She was then whisked away to Hell, where she became a cenobite. If you’re a diehard horror fan looking to impress with your costume, give this one a shot. To turn into the lovely female cenobite, you’re going to need some FX supplies, a wig cap, a ton of blue and grey makeup, and a black leather wardrobe.

9. Moira- American Horror Story

I’m hesitant to bring up American Horror Story. I was really into the first couple seasons, but then it just kind of descended into self indulgent chaos. Still, Murder House was pretty awesome. If you’re interested in going as one of the AHS ladies, I suggest sexy maid, Moira. While Moira is seen by women as her true age, men see her as a young pin-up babe. This is her curse to carry. Before the events of Murder House, Moira made the mistake of becoming involved with Constance’s (Jessica Lange) husband. This led to rape attempts, jealousy, and ultimately Constance shooting Moira’s eye out. To perfect this costume, pick up some maid attire and play around with retro makeup and hair. I’d also make one eye nice and gross.

10. Dracula’s Brides- Dracula

This costume really only works in a trio, but what devilish beauties you will be.  The Brides are timeless icons. There have been many depictions of the bloodsucking group throughout the years. Usually they’re depicted as mysterious and captivating. I can picture tons of options when it comes to these vampiric vixens. I like the traditionally elegant look, but a modern twist could be fun too. Let your creativity take over and see what you come up with. My only advice is to make sure the three of you at least kind of match.

There you go! Hopefully this list helps you to come up with a unique Halloween costume that you feel proud of. If you liked this article, please follow us here on the blog and also on Twitter. @HallowsHaunts Happy Haunting!

“Ghost and Legends” Coming to The Queen Mary

October is officially here! And that means we’re in the middle of haunt season! Now, no stranger to Haunts and ghosts, the Queen Mary made an announcement this week when it revealed its new year round attraction, “Ghost and Legends.”

Per the official press release for the Queen Mary:

“The Queen Mary, dubbed one of the top 10 most haunted places on Earth by Time Magazine, is pleased to unveil the newly-intensified and re-inspired Ghost and Legends, opening to the public on Friday, October 20. Offered year-round, thrill seekers and scare enthusiasts are invited to board the haunted RMS Queen Mary to test their fears in the world’s largest interactive and fully immersive haunted attraction. Experience the spirit legends of the Queen Mary first-hand with all-new special effects, cutting-edge technology and, of course, the chance to encounter paranormal activity for a one-of-a-kind, spine-chilling, fun time.”

Brian Luallen, Director of Entertainment Events, for The Queen Mary, stated:
““The new Ghosts and Legends offers guests an entirely different level of the traditional haunted experience. We crafted terrifying original stories and characters based the ship’s well-known paranormal tales and hot-spots onboard the Queen Mary to create a truly thrilling, immersive, and unique encounter.”

Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor is already considered to be one the premier haunt events of the Halloween season. The addition of “Ghost and Legends” appears to be taking them to a whole new level of haunt entertainment. With the attraction being year round, the ship is about to get a whole lot busier and more exciting!

The press release ended with the best part: the attraction is only $15 for adults and $12 for children:

“Ghost and Legends haunted experience aboard the Queen Mary will open on Friday, October 20 at 11 a.m. The year-round attraction will be open daily and runs every 30 minutes starting at 11 a.m., accommodating up to 30 guests per experience. Tickets are $15 for adults and $12 for children and are available at http://www.queenmary.com/tickets/. For more information, including hours or to purchase tickets online, please visit queenmary.com”

The team here at All Hallows’ Haunts are already big fans of Dark Harbor. Now, with “Ghost and Legends,” Queen Mary will become a place we will frequent more often throughout the year.

Be sure to follow us here and on Twitter (@HallowsHaunts) for more information on Dark Harbor, Ghosts and Legends and other Halloween, Horror and Haunt events in Southern California.

(Cover photo courtesy of the Queen Mary.)

IT- No Clowning Around

 

It has only been out for a week, and it’s already completely smashed box office records and blown up social media feeds. It’s seeming likely, that this latest Stephen King remake/adaptation will be the biggest horror movie of the year. Perhaps I’m a bit late to the game, but I figured I’d chime in anyway. It’s taken me some time to compile my thoughts on this one. My feelings are rather jumbled.

For those of you that have somehow remained unaware, It follows a group of kids trying to stop an ancient evil disguised as a clown. Of course the first element I need to address is the clown, Pennywise. While Tim Curry left some large clown shoes to fill, Skarsgard is a worthy replacement. Skarsgard’s Pennywise doesn’t speak as much as Curry’s, but he’s just as menacing. His fish like eyes that tend to cross, and the weird way he trails off when speaking hint at him being something far more sinister. In the book, it’s quite clear that Pennywise is a Lovecraftian-ish entity. While Curry’s interpretation is more entertaining, Skarsgard’s feels more in line with King’s original vision.

While Skarsgard’s performance is top notch, it’s the kids who carry the movie. Each of the children stand out as individual characters. Not a single one of them failed to measure up. The interactions between them are humorous, emotional, and authentic. The relationships of the kids in It have been compared to that of the children in Stranger Things. That’s a fair comparison, and audience members that enjoyed one are bound to enjoy the other. While the young actors of It deserve the most credit for bringing their roles to life, director Andy Muschietti is owed praise as well. It can be difficult to work with child/teen actors, and Muschietti managed to bring the best out of all seven of them. Sophia Lillis as Beverly is particularly enchanting. I can see her becoming a household name.

In addition to the acting, there’s also some bloody good cinematography. The version from 1990 was made for television, so the shots are practical rather than artistic. The new film is a theatrical release with a huge budget, so Muschietti was able to integrate more cinematic camera techniques. The movie is full to the brim of grand drone shots of Derry and slick slow-motion. The scene that stands out for me is the one where Beverly is listening to the voices bubbling up from the sink drain. Then the entire bathroom is splattered with blood in slow motion, while she screams her head off.

Unfortunately, not all of the visuals hold up. I had a problem with the lighting in most of the interior scenes. While the low lighting worked for the outdoor scenes, it made the indoor scenes just too dark to see. Sometimes even the characters eyes weren’t lit. It’s a small thing, but it makes a world of difference. Horror filmmakers need to learn that just because the subject matter is dark, it doesn’t mean it has to be visually dark.

I also took issue with the majority of the scary scenes. There is something going on in the current state of horror, where every horror scene is designed to be manic. That’s definitely the case with It. The cuts are too fast, the sound is too loud, and the camera motion is just excessive. I’m a slow burn fan, so I prefer the creeping dread that exists in the form of stillness, or perhaps a room that’s just too quiet. Maybe the climax scene could have benefited from the chaos, but when every Pennywise scene is that wild, the effect wears off fast. It seems like it’s trying too hard. Think about being at a haunted house. What’s creepier, the guy in a mask shouting in your face, or that thing in the lurking in a corner that you only get a glimpse of?

As long as we’re discussing the scares, I should point out that there were a few questionable effects. For the most part the movie used practical stuff, thank God. Still there were a couple times I caught some weird CGI. The most glaring example is at the beginning. Pennywise is tempting Georgie to get closer to him. Georgie moves in slowly, and then Pennywise opens his ridiculous CGI mouth and chomps down on Georgie’s arm. I wouldn’t say it ruined the scene, but it made it less enjoyable for sure.

My complaints aside, I’d still give this film a favorable review. If I had to offer a grade, I’d give it a solid B minus. I explained my issues with it to a friend, and he made the point that this movie still signifies that big budget horror is moving in the right direction. I have to agree. While It is not a great film by any stretch, it stands miles above the likes of other theatrical horror films. Still, I think I’ll stick with wacky Tim Curry.

Do you want more AHH in your life? Follow my personal Twitter account @LolaTarantula and our blog @HallowsHaunts.  We can also be found on Facebook All Hallows’ Haunts.

Alice Cooper’s Paranormal Album

Being a big Alice Cooper fan, I’ve been waiting years for a follow up to 2011’s Welcome 2 My Nightmare. When news dropped that the new album was to be released this year, I was thrilled. Cooper is a brilliant musician and master storyteller. 

Then my interest peaked when the new album’s title was revealed as Paranormal. I was expecting a macabre, hard rock ghost story. Trust me, I couldn’t wait for the last Friday of July to get here so I could get my hands on the album. Then the day arrived. I gave it a listen, and I was confused. So I listened a second time, and a third. With each listen, I became more and more puzzled.

The album is all over the place. The title track “Paranormal” is by far the best song on the album. It’s dark, heavy, and classic Cooper. The song deals with a ghost that has unfinished business with the love of his life. After that, things get weird, and not in a good way. The album doesn’t appear to know what it is. Some songs attempt to be rock, others sound like something straight out of an awkward musical, and a couple in the big bopper style. This album makes little sense. There is no concept and no proper transitions from song to song. It’s a mess.

With that being said, I would be lying if I said I didn’t find a couple of the big bopper songs catchy. I found my self singing “Holy Water” to myself a few times. Plus, the deluxe edition has some great live concert tracks of classic Cooper songs that are fantastic.

Overall, it’s a disappointing, confusing album. I had high expectations, that sadly weren’t met. My recommendation, stream the album online, and maybe download two songs. The whole album just isn’t worth it.

Annabelle Creation: They’ve Created a Monster

Please note: Annabelle in italics refers to the film, while plain text Annabelle refers to the character.

Annabelle: Creation is the cinematic form of Frankenstein’s monster. By that I mean it’s a bunch of parts stitched together to make an abomination trying to pass itself off as the real deal. The film desperately tries to cram in all of the usual possession film tropes in order to create tension. Since the tension is never allowed to evolve naturally, the results feel heavy handed and laughable. At this point, Hollywood’s desperation to imitate the James Wan aesthetic is nothing more than a pathetic cash grab.

This catastrophe revolves around a group of young orphans sent to live in the country with a couple of doll makers. These doll makers are of course the creators of the original Annabelle who was modeled after their daughter. When their daughter dies tragically, they seal her room away with the doll in it. The arrival of the young girls triggers her awakening. Terror ensues.

The first problem of Annabelle: Creation is that there is just too much happening. The film tries to introduce about 50 set pieces. There’s a tea set, a dollhouse, a scarecrow, a stairlift, and more. While each of these elements could be wicked cool on their own, none of them are ever given the proper amount of time to shine.

Then we have the forced supernatural atmosphere. I’m convinced someone over at Blumhouse has a checklist of all the cliches that need to be shoved into every modern horror film. Annabelle: Creation provides all the usual suspects including loud string music, fake jump scares, and little girls bending like contortionists. Unfortunately all of the tropes leave little room for actual plot. For example, a demon possesses the doll, and it needs a human host. Why? I couldn’t tell you. It already has a physical form. Plot holes like this can be found popping up throughout the entire movie.

Another unavoidable issue with the film is that the doll is absurd looking. They tried way too hard to make her look creepy. No one would buy a doll that ugly. She looks like a Halloween decoration. Dolls are inherently creepy. It’s just unnecessary to take it so far. In a campy film like Dolly Dearest, this approach works. However in a gravely serious supernatural horror/drama it does not.

In all honesty, I’ve never cared for Annabelle. I didn’t like her in The Conjuring. The Annabelle portion of The Conjuring always seemed out of place, like that subplot was an afterthought. I absolutely despised the first Annabelle spinoff, and this latest addition isn’t much better.

Annabelle: Creation does contain some spooky stuff, but the majority of the film is messy and unentertaining. While the setting and costumes are appealing, no amount of scenery can make up for the lack of a good story. I love The Conjuring 2 and Ouija: Origins, but I’m starting to think it might be time to put the “little girls getting possessed” narrative back into the coffin. Anyone with me?

If you want to read more articles like this one, follow our blog and be sure to follow us on Twitter @HallowsHaunts. For professional inquiries reach out to us (allhallowshaunts@gmail.com). I can also be found on Etsy, selling stuff for weird girls on my store page, Lola Tarantula.

Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor Unveils Chef

During the 2017 Midsummer Scream Halloween Festival in Long Beach, Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor returned to share a few of the surprises they have in store for this year’s Halloween season. One of the biggest announcements Dark Harbor made was that they will be opening a brand new maze, “Feast” on the Queen Mary itself. This will bring the maze total on the ship to a whopping four attractions. Feast’s star villain is a crazy cook known simply as Chef.

Per a press release that came shortly after the Midsummer Scream presentation:

“For the first time in Dark Harbor history, FEAST will be the 4th maze onboard the legendary vessel. FEAST tells the tale of Chef, a legendary spirit of the historic R.M.S. Queen Mary. As the tale goes, During WWII when the Queen Mary was in service as a troop transport ship, an enlisted military man serving in the ship’s kitchen quickly moved up the ranks to become a highly-decorated Chef. 

Unbeknownst to the soldiers traveling aboard, Chef had a dark side.  Quietly he would sedate soldiers in the middle of the night to prepare them as ingredients for his latest dishes. Eventually caught, the Chef was thrown into one of his own ovens and cooked alive.

Loyal to their leader Chef’s dutiful kitchen staff sacrificed their lives to become his evil henchmen, burning themselves in the same oven. The spirits of Chef and his evil crew went into hiding aboard the ship for many years. Now, these long-time stowaways have resurfaced to resume their deadly duties of collecting and preparing victims for Chef’s latest concoctions.”

In addition to the announcement of Chef and Feast, the press release also included the rest of the mazes for this year’s event:

“Live your nightmares aboard the Queen Mary with returning mazes Soulmate and B340. Mazes Circus, Intrepid, Deadrise, and Lullaby also return newly intensified, darker than imaginable, and evermore twisted. With 7 mazes and 13 bars, fire shows, aerialists, sliders, Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch’s Sinister Swings, monster DJs, Voodoo House Bar & Tasting Room, R.I.P. Lounge, and much more, Dark Harbor is a freakishly fun time.”

The addition of Chef is looking to make this year’s Dark Harbor one of the most exciting yet. The team here at All Hallows’ Haunts is already pumped! Dark Harbor opens September 28th and runs select nights through November 1st. Tickets start at $20 on specific nights and can be bought at www.queenmary.com.

As Dark Harbor is a personal favorite of the AHH team, we highly recommend purchasing front of the line passes as wait times for the mazes can get quite long. For more info on Dark Harbor and other haunts in Southern California, be sure to follow All Hallows’ Haunts here on our website. You can also follow us on twitter- @HallowsHaunts.